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This past weekend I attended the Pulpwood Queens Girlfriends Weekend in Nacogdoches, Texas. It was a fun filled weekend of authors, readers, tiaras and big hair! What are the Pulpwood Queens you ask? Well, they are the world’s largest book club, founded by Kathy Murphy in the year 2000. In fifteen short years, Kathy and the Pulpwood Queens have turned into the Oprah of books. Kathy’s golden touch helps raise first time, and obscure authors to the best seller lists. Here’s a link to a great article in the County Line Magazine that gives you an idea of how special this weekend is to authors, readers, and book lovers alike.

http://www.countylinemagazine.com/January-February-2015/Turning-a-Page-with-The-Pulpwood-Queens/

The finale event of the weekend is the GREAT BIG BALL OF HAIR BALL! Everyone is encouraged to dress as their favorite author or character from a book. Those of you who know me know that I don’t accomplish anything until the 11th hour, and so it was with my costume. The GREAT BIG BALL OF HAIR BALL was to start at 8:00 pm and at 5:30 pm, I finally decided what I would be. I would be Dolly Parton! The silent auction proceeds from the Pulpwood Queens Girlfriend weekend would go to the Dolly Parton Imagination Library Literacy Project, so that seemed like the perfect tie-in.

I scurried around town getting a blonde wig, a pink cowboy hat, false eyelashes, and fake press-on nails. I called my friend (whose name shall not be mentioned to protect the innocent) to obtain a triple D sized bra. I borrowed a gold lame dress, stuffed five pairs of socks in each DDD cup and *poof* I was Dolly Parton. I pulled the fake nails out of the packaging and struggled with the tape that was supposed to hold them on. Time ticked by and in desperation, my author friends Barb and Kay stuck super glue on the remaining fake nails and held them to my natural nails for a couple of minutes. Finally, we were on our way to the ball.

The ball was barrels of fun, I got my picture with some amazingly talented authors, and I got to dance to Dolly’s song 9-5.

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Eventually like all good things, the ball came to an end and I returned home and removed my Dolly garb. All went well until the fingernails. I pried most of them off, but the one on my right pinkie finger refused to come off. I tried everything, soaking it in polish remover and using a dull knife to try and pry it off. Nothing worked, so I just cut it as short as possible and went to bed. The next morning I tried again and still no luck. I realized I would have to go my book signing that day with one black nail! By this time, it was a source of intense and unyielding humor for my friends. So I did what any good friend would do, I gave them the black finger!

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I think we need to make this a tradition and call ourselves The Black Finger Girls. What do you think? Everyone could be a Black Finger Girl, just paint your right pinkie nail black.

P.S. The nail still hasn’t come off. 🙁

Dolly Parton I need some help! LOL